For this entry, you will post the introduction to your Academic Analysis. When you are writing a formal essay, your introduction should have three components: hook, context, and thesis.
The hook (also known as the "lead" or the "attention-grabber") is used to intrigue your audience and begin your essay in a way that makes the reader want to continue reading. Some forms of the hook include the use of a direct quote, a question, a surprising fact or statistic, or anecdote (a brief story). You could also begin by using a definition or a description, by comparing and contrasting two things, or by dividing and classifying the types of a thing. The key to writing an effective hook is to be interesting, original, and consistent with both topic and tone.
The context is where the writer introduces the main ideas of the essay. The writer needs to provide the broad outlines of the different subjects so that the thesis will be effective; to do this, the writer will need to explain those ideas with definitions and other essential information.
Finally, the introduction will end with the thesis statement. This is the specific argument the writer is making about the topic. This thesis should be clear, concise, and insightful.
Because you are writing an academic analysis, you should avoid using any reference to yourself. The one exception would be if you were to use an anecdote as your hook; in that case, you could use the first-person "I" to tell your opening narrative. However, there should be no "I" in your thesis statement.
For your essay, you should respond to the following question: "What is a photograph, and how and why do people use photography?" Consider the various contexts in which we take and present our photographs. Your essay will use individual photographs as examples, but you should not refer to these examples in your introduction.
For this entry, post the introduction to your academic analysis. It should be no less than three sentences and no longer than twelve or so.
With a single flash of bright light accompanied by the simple sound of a shutter, a photographic image is obtained that allows us to forever capture a moment in time. What defines a photograph? A smiling lover, a scenic view, or a miscellaneous object: the subject of a photograph is completely unbounded. What motivates a photographer? Proof of existence, a family vacation, or a simple reminder: the use of photography is also limitless. By executing various presentation details such as angles, lighting, and filters, a photographer is able to customize their captured image in a way that is unique to their desired use. A photograph is a type of art form that is specific to an individual’s personality, which ultimately allows the photographer to not only document, but to re-live moments through an emotional journey associated with the image subject.
ReplyDeleteNice introduction, Jaimee !
DeleteA photograph can represent what the human eye wishes to see it as. A picture can be meaningful or vague, depending on how the mind perceives it. There are numerous reasons why people take photographs, and what they can mean to each person individually; they can have one solitary purpose or they can have many. A picture is a moment in captivity, it can be precious, sad, or just an ordinary event in life. It is a time that can be relived and remembered by just looking through the picture. People can use photography to reminisce about an occasion in life, to convey a message to the world, or for public appreciation. Photography has revolutionized the world in which a moment in time is captured and where the purpose and significance of an image lies to be determined.
ReplyDeleteNice start, Paulo. Here are two suggestions to make your writing stronger:
Delete1. Avoid beginning sentences with the generic "There are" or "It is."
2. The most generic verb in English is the verb "to be," which includes "is, are, was, were." If you can replace the generic "is" in your introduction with more vivid verbs, your writing will be more vivid, descriptive, and effective (and your grade will be higher).
Visual proof that man has set foot on the moon. Proof of how our grandparents looked when they were younger. Photography is a valid source of documentation that gives future and past generations the ability to investigate or reflect on any captured moment. One photograph is composed of endless details that are not bound to only one meaning. Why do people use photography? Photography is used to keep memories alive. We analyze photographs of the past to feed our imagination of what those experiences would have felt like to the present generation. Photography gives people room to wonder and gives us the freedom to come up with our own answers. Capturing a moment that will change history is just as important as taking a family photo. Photographs are important for keeping memories alive that will eventually fade away in the human mind. Photography is a vital art form that gives each moment in time an opportunity to be relived. This form of art allows us to experience a moment in time which other wise could not be done in such an honest way.
ReplyDeleteNice work,Vincent. You're opening with two fragments, but you seem to be using fragments deliberately here as a stylistic choice (I hope). My suggestion is to improve your syntax variety in the rest of the paragraph. When we talk about a writer's "flow," one aspect of that is the author's use of sentence variety and complexity. In other words, a writer with good "flow" will have a variety of sentence types and lengths, while a writer with weak "flow" will have sentences that all fall into the same pattern of construction and are all of similar length. Work on setting short, simple sentences next to long, complex sentences. This juxtaposition will improve your syntax variety (and thus your "flow").
DeleteAccording to Susan Sontag, “Photography does not simply reproduce the real, it recycles it…”(p.174) Sontag, has brilliantly displayed the most precise definition of comparing and contrasting similar photos with the previous quote. Her use of the word “recycling” helps solidify that there can be both similar and different attributes to each and every photo. No matter how close they may appear. Therefore, three photos will be analyzed, to test Sontag’s definition of photography and whether or not photos “recycle” life with each and every photograph.
ReplyDeleteZac, your introduction effectively sets the context and parameters of your essay: it will debate the idea of photography reproducing and/or recycling the "real." This is a great central idea for an essay, but your introduction needs to be more specific in addressing these central concepts: the real, reproduction of the real, recycling of the real. Expand your introduction to define and explain these concepts, and then end with your thesis: is her claim valid? If so, why? If not, why not? Then, cut your final sentence, which is too formulaic and doesn't present an argument. These photographs will be the evidence for your thesis, and you don't need to introduce the evidence in your introduction.
DeleteImagine being surrounded by family, friends, and all the people that could light up your face with a smile with just a look. A person passes by and you ask if they could be so kind and take a picture of all of you. You hand over your camera and on the count of three the flash goes off. Later on, you enlarge, print out the photo, and you hang it in clear view: the center of your living room. Why would someone go through the trouble to capture the moment? It is simple. To relive a time in your life when everything seemed so comfortable and perfect. A photograph is a picture frozen in time that allows the photographer to see the image in the present and in the years to come and with the use of photography people are able to capture a specific moment whether that be: a birthday, a newborn baby, or someone they love, to remember a very significant and memorable day in their lives.
ReplyDeleteVanessa, nice opening anecdote! My only quibble is that your analysis (so far) focuses on the intimate uses of photography. However, these are not the only uses: photography can also be used for art and advertisement. Think about how your final sentence relates to these aspects as well.
DeleteIts cold and rainy outside, but one finds comfort sitting in their cozy sofa by the crackling fireplace looking through a box of old photographs. One photo is of an old friend that brings to mind memories of rollerblading and cotton candy, though the picture itself is just of the friend's face. One picture is of the family at the beach, and though its cold and rainy outside the memory makes the room warm and breezy. Another photograph is of a Christmas past with a few family members who are no longer alive, but they are very alive in the picture, and their laugh is almost out loud and brings a tear along with a smile. A box of old photographs can be more precious than gold to someone, because a photograph is not just a piece of paper with colors on it, but rather a time machine to the past of fond memories and even forgotten ones. People use photography to capture memories from the ordinary days to the best days, from the most beautiful of people to the ugliest of dogs, photographs are taken to capture the moment. Whether a photograph is taken by an amateur or a professional, both photographers are aiming and shooting for something they find value in. Both photographs will hold a value of time, of the object, and of what it means to them.
ReplyDeleteLisa, nice hook! You have a couple of typos (such as "its" instead of "it's"), but your introduction looks solid. My only quibble with the content is the ambiguity/generic nature of the final phrase "what it means to them." Always begin and end an essay (and a paragraph) with specifics, and this phrase is too vague. Clarify that final thought, and you'll be in good shape.
DeleteTime cannot be saved, but a moment can be saved through a photograph, a photograph is a form of art and expression that allows the photographer to capture the moments. Photograph is a process of stopping time, which allows the photographer to examine the scene in detail. From nature to people, each photograph describes a time and place in the past; people use photographs to see the change that happens from past to present. People use photography to capture a multitude of things for example to tell a story, to capture beauty, memories, family moments or history. People change, but photographs remain the same; photographs can serve as an evidence to the past and future generations to see their family history for example how their grandparents looked when they were younger. A memory can be saved in photographs and photographs give us chance to experience or memorize that captured moment by giving us a flash back of that specific time in the past.
ReplyDeletePrahbjeet, spend more time revising/editing for grammar and mechanics. Your first sentence is a comma splice, and your second sentence seems to have a typo that interferes with readability. Pay closer attention to these grammar/mechanics issues.
DeleteA photograph is a picture made using a camera, in which an image is focused onto film or other light-sensitive material and then made visible and permanent by chemical treatment, or stored digitally. Photographs allow us to archive what’s happening in our world. Our memories can fade over time. We lose details or even change events unknowingly to remember them in a more favorable light, or how we wished they’d happened. With photography we can more accurately record and remember our past to share with future generations.
ReplyDeleteMelinda, in terms of your ideas, this is a solid introduction. In terms of style, however, you can make your introduction more vivid by being more specific (such as replacing the generic "material" with the more specific actual material, which you might have to do some research to find) and to avoid repeating generic verbs such as "is" in your opening sentence.
DeletePhotography captures a moment in time, this makes a photograph an unchanging work of art because that picture will never change, but a photograph is also documenting how a person was in the time that, that picture was taken, and as they grow and change that photograph is no longer an accurate depiction of how they are in the present. So when they look at that photograph that was taken in the past it is a documentation of how much time has gone by. In Kracauer’s Photography, he states that “photography presents a spacial continuum. Historicism seeks to provide the temporal continuum. According to historicism the complete mirroring of a temporal sequence simultaneously contains the meaning of all that occurred within that time” (425). Photography can accurately capture all of the meaning that occurred in the moment when you snap a picture and it will forever document that moment in time and provide a documentation to an event or how a person looked like.
ReplyDeleteSarah, spend more time revising and editing to avoid errors like your opening comma splice. Also, avoid using the 2nd-person "you" perspective (in your last sentence) when you are writing academic (or professional) essays.
DeleteAccording to Susan Sontag, “Photographs are a way of imprisoning reality, understood as recalcitrant, inaccessible: of making it stand still. Or they enlarge a reality that is felt to be shrunk, hollowed out, perishable, remote. One can’t possess reality, one can possess (and be possessed by) images” (Sontag 163). Photography exists to record the social context of history and to participate in events that have already taken place. Through photography, society recalls the passing of time, while simultaneously valuing the present. It “imprisons” the realities of the everyday human experience and transforms it, into an instrument of confirmation and participation into the lives of others. Photographs are the productions of pre-existing realities from the past and in the present it serves as a tool for society to retroactively participate in the past.
ReplyDeleteViviana, this is a great start. Keep up the good work.
DeleteIn terms of grammar/mechanics, delete the comma after "transforms it."
With a simple click of a button on a mobile phone or a camera anyone has the power to capture a moment in time. Photography is a form of art that is free from impartiality because photography allows anyone the ability to create an image without any artistic ability. Why does someone push the button and capture an image? The answer is different for each artist behind the camera lens. For some, the ability to document something or someone for future generations is the motivation to capture a particular moment. For others, it’s the ability to look back, to re-live or re-feels particular moment in time. Professional photographers focus more on the structure of the image. They look at the colors, shapes, contrasts and capture an image that is captivating and keeps the eyes entertained with detail. Whereas, nonprofessional take photograph capturing raw images that hold sentimental value or just capture a moment in time. Both nonprofessional and professional photographers strive to relay a universal message which are portrayed using the simple click of a button.
ReplyDeleteNatalie, what do you mean by the phrase "free from impartiality"?
DeleteOtherwise, the content here is solid.
Replace the subordinating conjunction "Whereas" with a conjunctive adverb like "Conversely" or "However."
A million images are being processed through these eyes giving objects instantaneous meanings. Messages being trasmitted to the brain through tiny threads of electrons stimulating instant reactions that are so automatic there is no time to responsed. However, there are some images you see that have the power to stay with you forever. Lewis Hines was a Social Photographer hired by the NCLC to document children and their working conditions in factories 1900's across the nation. His photographs were so powerful that it helped build a case prohibiting child labor. Photgraphy is a documented moment in time that can be used as Art, history, memories, culture, and a political movements. Media tends to use photographs to send social media messages to people everyday in magazines and on the internet. Photography is only limited by the one focusing the len and capturing the image.
ReplyDeleteBrenda, give yourself more time to edit and revise to correct fragments like your second sentence. Avoid using the 2nd-person "you" perspective in academic writing, and work on improving your syntax variety and complexity so that each of your sentences is not the same type and length of the sentence before and after. Work on constructing some short, simple sentences next to longer, complex sentences. This will improve your syntax variety and the essay's "flow."
DeleteThroughout history there have been many methods of saving a special moment in a person’s life through images. These images have been saved through paintings but in the modern world photographs are being used. Photographs stop time at the precise moment the person snaps the image through a camera. A photograph taken the moment a baby takes its first breath after being born to them getting married. Photographs will be there to show future generations memories of their ancestors or parents. Photographs are a form of art that is used to capture history or an individual’s life, to re-live and remember the past, present, and future.
ReplyDeleteStephanie, spend more time revising and editing to catch fragments like this: "A photograph taken the moment a baby takes its first breath after being born to them getting married."
DeleteWork on improving your syntax variety so that your sentences don't fall into the same pattern of construction and length. Combine some short, simple sentences juxtaposed with longer, complex sentences to improve your essay's "flow."
Pictures are used to capture images that happen in an instance, however with photography the feelings and messages that are captured last forever. When looking into a new photograph that one has never seen before, at first glance you may see trees, pets, or people without knowing the purpose behind the photograph. As one begins to examine and interpret photographs, many different views and perceptions of the story behind the photograph can be thought of. Perhaps some take photographs to capture memories but other reasons also exist such as documentation or expression. Whenever someone observes a photograph they should not only observe the visual image but also look further into the reason why the photograph came to exist.
ReplyDeleteMarin, avoid using the 2nd-person "you" perspective in academic writing. Watch out for comma splices like your first sentence; correct the errors by punctuating the sentence like this: "Pictures are used to capture images that happen in an instance; however, with photography the feelings and messages that are captured last forever." This same sentence confused "instance" for "instant." Finally, avoid using passive voice verbs like "are used" and "are captured." Make the sentence active by saying something like "Pictures capture images" and "the captured feelings and messages last forever."
Delete"What is a photograph, and how and why do people use photography?"
ReplyDeleteA Kodak moment is a saying when a person captures a meaningful moment with a camera. People use photography to capture moments that they know that will last a lifetime. Photography is an expression of art that express a lot of meaning through the lens. People tend to attach themselves to photography due to the fact that they know they cannot go back in time. Capturing a photograph is a form of letting the world see what a person sees through his or her own eyes.
Ruby, work on improving your syntax variety and complexity. Each of your sentences falls into the same pattern of type and length. Work on using short, simple sentences next to longer, more complex sentences. This will improve your essay's "flow."
DeleteIn terms of the content, what makes a moment "meaningful"? Clarifying this idea will help your essay's argument.
Finally, avoid using the colloquial phrase "a lot of."
When you look up the definition of photograph in the dictionary it would merely just say a picture made using a camera, but for many it is more than this. A photograph is not just an image or a piece of paper.They are not just simple images but within that image is a story to be told. A photograph is a time machine for many people.Its a way to go back and relive those moments that are forever gone. It is a moment back in time, a glimpse into the past. Photographs capture the meaningful moments in your life. Memories which are documented forever without having to push rewind. People use photography to be able to look back at special events that they experienced. They use them to look back and compare what once was to how it is now. Photographs are ones way to express an artistic image that they have captured. A photograph goes beyond just an image on paper, it is a special moment captured, a way for people express themselves , and a way to look into a memory that was lost in time but not in thought.
ReplyDeleteErik, work on your syntax variety. Too many of your sentences fall into the same pattern of construction and length. Work on combining short, simple sentences with longer, complex sentences to improve your essay's "flow." Avoid using the 2nd-person "you" in academic writing, and watch out for comma splices (like your last sentence).
DeleteDo you remember the greatest day of your life? It could have been your first kiss, your wedding day, scoring the winning goal at the championship game, or the birth of your first born child. Imagine not having anything to capture these memories. A photograph allows us to relive these moments that are impossible to reproduce. Some people take photographs as a hobby; others do it because it is their passion. A photograph is like looking through someone else’s eyes. Every photograph has a story to tell, and not everyone perceives a photograph the same way.
ReplyDeletePaula, this is a good start. I would recommend combining your last two sentences into this:
DeleteEven though people may interpret a photograph differently, a photograph enables us to look through someone else's eyes and listen to the story the photograph has to tell.
Photography is according to merriamwegsterr.com, "the art or process of producing images by the action of radiant energy and especially light on a sensitive surface." But what transforms a picture into a work of art? Is it the photographer? Or does beautiful art just happen by itself in the natural, and get captured by people with their eyes and lenses wide open? Art is both created by photographers who create their perfect scenes, as well as by the natural world around us. Photography is an art in itself as well as the practice of capturing images, which may or may not be art.
ReplyDelete...merriamwebsterr.com...
DeleteJose, this is a good start. What do you mean by "happen by itself in the natural"?
DeleteParagraphs (especially introductions) should end with a clear assertion. Your phrase "may or may not" weakens your clarity. Avoid vague, ambiguous claims like this, especially in the last line of an introduction.
For over a century, photography has been used easily to capture a living moment into a single image that can last a lifetime. Looking at a picture can help a person relive a moment, or even produce a gush of emotion from the viewer, depending on the significance of the image. Because technology has improved in past decades, photography is now used at many special occasions and events, including weddings, the birth of a child, and at graduation ceremonies. It is even used in everyday moments, knowing that future family members will value the image. Photography, unlike other forms of art, brings meaning to life and gives the viewer a sense of reality.
ReplyDeleteNice work, Sahar. My only quibble would be to replace the passive voice construction of "is used" with a more active verb. For example, instead of writing "photography is now used at many special occasions," you could write, "photography now commemorates many special occasions."
DeleteWe often see photographs around us and being so use to seeing them, we tend to ignore them. It could be a photo in the doctors office or just one we have saved in our phone from a fun time. Wherever the photo is taken or what it's of, every photo has a significance and every photo has a meaning. Photos are gate ways to the past, present, and future. They are a source to capture a moment forever. A person can learn from the past through a picture and use what is learned in the present.
ReplyDeleteFareedah, watch out for typos like "use to" instead of "used to" and "gate ways" instead of "gateways." In terms of content, avoid vague generalizations like "fun time" or "significance." If you can replace these terms with more specific descriptions, your introduction should be solid.
DeleteAt the sight of a perfect opportunity, a beautiful scenery or a cherished moment taking out our cameras to capture the moment is done so without much hesitation. It is done without much hesitancy because photographs help a person reflect who they are and what they feel. A photograph to one person can mean something to them, meanwhile it can mean something totally different to someone else. Although photographs have different meanings for each person, photographs do however capture memories, details and time for everyone. A photograph is a memory captured through a lens of a camera to reflect back on, to relive and to have a proof of existence which are just a few of the reasons why people take photographs.
ReplyDeleteCarolyn, avoid repeating phrases like "is done without much hesitation." The solution is an easy one: combine your first two sentences into one sentence. This idea is solid -- "A photograph to one person can mean something to them, meanwhile it can mean something totally different to someone else"-- but the ambiguity of "can mean something" lessens the impact. If you can clarify this claim and make it more specific, your introduction should be solid.
DeleteIn his article on Kiss102.7.fm Joel Smith states that according to researchers, “we take more than 380 billion photos a year” (“How Many Photos Have Been Taken Ever?” 2013, para. 2). That is a big difference from one billion in the 1930’s. Most of these pictures are posted on the social medias. People are now using more photography because the social media calls for it, to do “check-ins” on Facebook or just to post a picture of how different they look so that family across the world can see them. The reasons behind taking tremendous amounts of pictures are endless, but there are some very common ones; showing a loved one how they have grown, showing friend’s where on is at and remembering a moment.
ReplyDeleteMaria, your ideas here are solid. Combine your first two sentences to make the relationship clearer, and adjust your thesis so that you also consider how photography appears in art and other areas, like advertising.
Delete80,000,000,000. Americans took 80,000,000,000 photographs in the year 2011 (National Geographics). That is only five billion less than all of the physical photographs in existence from the beginning of photography to the year 2000 (1000memories). By 2015, it is projected that Americans alone will take 105,000,000,000 photographs, or 322 photographs per person (National Geographics). The proliferation of photographs has changed every facet of life in the United States. From schools, churches, and businesses to relationships and the communication between these connections, photographs have influenced everything for various reasons. People use photographs with an array of technology because photographs are a great medium used to transfer information and also simultaneously share thoughts and feelings.
ReplyDeleteWesley, this is a solid start. Avoid vague generalizations like "everything for various reasons," and you'll be in good shape.
DeleteSince its introduction nearly two hundred years ago, photography has enabled people to collect, reproduce, and alter images of our world for a variety of purposes. We use photographs to capture images for personal use, to selectively pass on information, and for artistic reasons. It is an art form born of science and has been used to enrich human communication on a multitude of levels and in ways that no previous art form has been able to achieve. As cinema critic Andre Bazin (1960) states “only a photographic lens can give us the kind of image of the object that is capable of satisfying the deep need man has to substitute for it something more than a mere approximation.” (p. 8)
ReplyDelete