However, great writers choose great words, the precise combinations of nouns and verbs (and adjectives, etc.) to convey the thought and build the tone.
For today's assignment, use Word's "Control-F" function to find each instance of "thing," "stuff," "a lot," or "very." These are all generic, empty words that can sometimes be effective (if you want to convey the quality of being generic) but should otherwise be replaced.
Likewise, the most generic verb is "to be," which simply states a state of existence. Use "Control-F" to find how many times you use is, was, are, or were. You don't need to replace all of these examples, but the ones you keep should be worth keeping.
In terms of complete phrases, clauses, and sentences, you should avoid cliches, which are sayings that have become overused and are the complete opposite of a unique, insightful analysis. Read through your essay to eliminate any cliches, especially, in the context of your essays, the worn "A picture tells a thousand words."
For this post, find a sentence from your essay that is too generic, too empty, too cliched. Post both your flawed sentence and a revised version that is specific, insightful, and original.
Generic: "She takes a photograph of whom seems to be a loved one."
ReplyDeleteRevision: "She takes a photograph of a loved one."
Generic: "Photography is something that is important to very many people"
ReplyDeleteRevision: "Several people throughout the world can agree that photography is meaningful."
Generic: Photographs have been around for a very long time, yet have ceased to decline in popularity.
ReplyDeleteRevision: The existence of photography has exceeded numerous lifetimes, yet has ceased to decline in popularity.
Generic: Whether a photograph is planned or not each image has a story behind it; hinting at the truthfulness of the cliché that a picture holds a thousand words
ReplyDeleteRevision: Whether a photograph is planned or not each image has a story behind it; they can speak of life, beauty, happiness, and encouragement, but can also speak of death, sadness, betrayal, and cruelty.
Generic: The use of photography in social media serves to connect and isolate us.
ReplyDeleteRevision: The use of photography in social media serves to connect us to the past and present, but it can also isolate us through distractions and insecurities.
Generic: The use of photography in social media serves to connect and isolate us.
ReplyDeleteRevision: The use of photography in social media serves to connect us to the past and present, but it can also isolate us through distractions and insecurities.
Generic: Once the photographer has given others a look into their private life or thoughts, it is something that cannot be revoked and has been planted.
ReplyDeleteRevision: Once the photographer has given others a look into their private life or thoughts, that false intimacy cannot be revoked and has been planted.
Generic: Photographs have been able to successfully capture and record history over the course of the last 200 years.
ReplyDeleteRevision: Capturing and recording history in the form of photographs has been embedded in society over the two centuries.
Generic: Photographs are captured for many different reasons.
ReplyDeleteRevision: Photographs are captured for many reasons: to remember a cherished moment, to portray emotion, and simply to engage in a hobby.
Generic: "Photography allows us to capture a moment of reality and freeze it"
ReplyDeleteRevision: Through photography, we are able to capture a moment to remember and embrace it.
Generic Statement: The overall mood of the photo was very depressing, which allowed the viewer to leave their world and step into one much different.
ReplyDeleteRevision: The ambiance of the photo was extremely dark and depressing, letting the viewer to stray from their habitual ways, and observe something different, something new.
It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words that’s the reason people use them to communicate.
ReplyDeleteA picture can provide way more information about a moment than what most people can provide by writing, that’s the reason pictures are sometimes used to communicate instead of words.
Generic: An image can elicit an array of emotions, or none at all.
ReplyDeleteSpecific: An image can elicit emotions such as nostalgia, sadness, excitement, and more; these emotions depend on the person's perspective.
Generic: People can use their photos in numerous ways.
ReplyDeleteRevision: Photographs, in all their glory, can be utilized in so many different ways.
Generic: Picture taking is living in the moment and capturing it.
ReplyDeleteRevision: We capture each moment that is lived and cherish it for a lifetime.
Generic: Photographs are still images of life from a single point in time.
ReplyDeleteRevision: Photographs capture images from a significant point of time.
This sentence was not in my rough draft; it was added after revision.
ReplyDeleteGeneric: Sometimes photographs omit truth.
Revision: Sometimes the manipulation of the camera to fit the photographer's standards is a weakness because it may omit truth.
Generic: It is very common in America for families to take photographs of one another’s achievements.
ReplyDeleteRevision:Photography in America is very common when it comes to special events, especially those that include our family and their achievements.
Generic: I can’t help but think of the little things I may have missed by being focused on the camera and capturing the perfect memory instead of immersing myself in the once in a lifetime experience I had at my fingertips.
ReplyDeleteRevised: When I reflect on these photos I can’t help but think of the small, yet meaningful encounters I may have missed by being focused on the camera and capturing the perfect memory instead of immersing myself in the once in a lifetime experience I had at my fingertips.
Generic:This alienation stems from the overthinking of what others have and what we lack as well as the disconnect of worldwide heart break that we can only experience through photography.
ReplyDeleteRevised: Alienation from reality can be caused by the obsession of what others think of us. We hide behind a camera lens, or even in front, and put on a face that we think our "viewers" want to see. Real moments are taken from raw moments and that's where we connect.